especially to @CatrinLliarJones and apologies to her husband!
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Thank you, Aran, for your intervention.
In the last few weeks I had only noticed an adversarial tone in the discussions of some of the grammar and that felt uncomfortable to me. Goodness knows what was in some of the other threads, but please donāt tell me; Iād rather not know.
I actually feel better about going into the forum already. There are people in there who Iāve spoken to and seen but never met and there are those whose contributions to the discussions have been helpful so I know there are plenty of nice people in there.
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The overwhelming majority - as in, 99.9% plus. This is a very special community, and weāre going to be keeping it that wayā¦ 
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As someone who has been rather vocal on many topics, iām sorry if i am one of those who has offended.
To be clear, iām just passionate about the language.
I am sure everyone with a passion just wants to express that. I know of noone who has deliberately set out to offend. Thats an important thing to remember.
I donāt think youāve offended - you certainly havenāt offended me - but Iām sure this thread will be offering you extra clarity on why I gave you a few nudges. Passion is the trickiest thing for us - we want to see it, we want to inspire it, but we need it to remain entirely under control, so that the tricky nature of text-only communication doesnāt end up making it look unfriendly to othersā¦ 
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Maybe htere is a wondering (by some of you (or not at all )) why Iāve been so quiet in this thread for so long as usually Iām many times (neccessarily or not neccessarily) the first to respond. But now I just feel the need to write something too.
(Excuse me my long post (again ā¦))
Iāve read the posts carefully (well at least I believe I did read them carefully enough) and ā¦ all of a sudden I felt that secret bit of guilt which always lurks somewhere behind in my conscience when word about such things as to be kind, supportive, polite ā¦
Was I polite, supportive, friendly (and whatās more to it) enough? What if I wasnāt?
Yes, these questions raised in me reading this thread. And the answer is: No, I wasnāt always kind, polite and friendly enough!
I also felt guilty of (maybe) causing unpleasant feelings to some members with many times unconsciously āI know it allā behaviour what I became aware of in time and hopefully Iāve got rid of it now.
But I wonāt accuse myself, not this time. Accusing myself is the thing of the past, the thing of me at the beginning of comming on here, not being always friendly and kind enough to many people and then my explanation would be I actually meant to blame and accuse myself and not stepping on the others. I also thought later on that many people went off the forum because of me and my not always friendly behavior, and for this reason I even asked @aran to delete my "Tatjana - Progress Reports" topic as I felt there was/is most of my unfriendly stuff written which surely wouldnāt contribute to anyoneās learning process neither to feel them welcomed on here.
But SSiW and especially you, members of this forum with the main protagonist @aran on the lead, gave me that something, that long lost part of me being lost in the wide wild world of Internet which brought almost as heavy, stressful and unbelievably threatening times to me as did to Aran and @CatrinLliarJones in the real life with exception of being life threatened. In the time I was most āheavyā toward people and self beating about my learning many of you but mostly Aran found the will to lead me though the learning process, being willing to give me all those extra specials Iāve got (translate this as ā2 most blasting conversations with Aranā) making me realize Iām that one who has to change and not the world around me.
I started to work on main two things: a) learning the language as it should be learnt, without beating myself and expecting too much and b) polishing me in my behaviour, responses, writings on the forum, being helpful and welcomming when I am able to and just shut up when I feel happenings and writings could carry me away. (with exception of my happy YAY!s, and in seconds inspired graphics which I love to post here. )
Fortunately (now I am safe to say this) deliting of "Tatjana - Progress Reports) never happened and nowdays Iām kind of thankful for this as I know those posts might not be so hostile anyway and many people were saying later on that they were inspired with many things written there.
Iām also glad that all those (well majority of them) for who i thought they left bacause of me, are back on here again and they donāt just read, but actively contribute to the forum as they once did before. . It might be those members really went off because of me but clearifying things obviously brought them back and we started on kind of new relation.
So, I hopefully should believe Iāve succeeded with what Iāve worked (and still working) on and nowdays no one feels not-welcome, threatened and in any other way uncomfortable on here because of me.
To be honest, I felt this forum not being as friendly as it once was lately also with one more observation (I always have one extra ) : obviously this for it was also more quiet, much more quiet then Iād want and as it usually was during the Summer. Hopefully this thread will make all people not forget to be friendly and polite even if expressing their passion toward language (and a bit of policy if itās unavoidable in deed). I for sure (even if I didnāt need this reminder at the moment) will pay extra attention to my writings so it might be youād rather not see me in some topics then seing me expressing anger or āhostileā behaviour.
I hope Iām doing my part well and I will not ever be thankful enough to all of you here and especially to some people who literally came into my life and made it brighter, showing me a new way of not just learning, acheaving something, but also of relationship with the people.
For all bad things I once ago might do, please accept my deepest appology.
I love you all!
Tatjana
P.S.
I knew for this threatenigs to Jones family as I accidentaly stumbled on the article and video with it about this some years ago and was shocked.
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I canāt imagine anyone thought you were bad Tatjana fach.
In fact iām sure you have helped far more than you have hindered.
feeling a failure at language or many other things in life is not unusual,
following your (struggle) progress has been a joy because of the happy ending
you are well ahead of me but as Aran sayās fydd i ddim poeni amdani .
Cheers J.P.
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I think itās very positive that you have reflected in this way. āWhat have I done wrong? Am I a contributing factor?ā And even more positive that you know that you do not need to blame yourself because you have learnt from past experiences.
I think most of us who have been involved in debates on here have felt a pang of reflection reading this post. And so we should! reflection is how we grow and improve. We do it with our Welsh learning, so we should do it with all our actions.
This post has made me think about a lot of interactions Iāve had. Online, face-to-face, over the phone, wherever. You learn a lot and I feel better in life when I say positive things. So, if I canāt be constructive (positive) I will hold my tongue (or wonāt hit āreplyā/āpostā
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Ssiw has been miraculous in getting me to learn Cymraeg at a speed that Iāve never known before. Iāve treasured the welcoming and encouraging tone of the forum too - letās keep it that way.
Excellent new book Aran!!
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On both Facebook and other fora Iāve made it a rule never to comment on, reply to, like (or dislike) any post that is aggressive, extremist or contains offensive language. If we all did the same, it would deny the originators the attention that they crave. Any parent will be familiar with attention-seeking behaviour by their children and in most cases the same response is required.
I fully support Aranās stand on this topic: SSiW is like a big family - letās keep it that way.
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I donāt remember youād ever been unfriendly or unsupportive on here. Iām enjoying your posts (as I do of many others too) but thank you.
Thank you @ramblingjohn also and all the rest.
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I think itās important and interesting that some of our best posters look at this kind of discussion and challenge themselves to be better - itās probably an attitude which is an important differentiator in the wider world, too.
Just as we all make mistakes when using a language, so we all have our flaws and short-comings, our moments of bad temper and unkindness - and thatās okay. Itās part of being alive.
But the more we look at our behaviour, and think about our actions, the more we growā¦
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@tatjana, I totally agree with John!! You are the kindest, most helpful, bending-over-backwards person here! You have helped me over and over and over again! Telling people of milestones and set backs is helpful! Not a bad thing!
I know I am very tactless - I had a few run-ins at work because I said things in a way which sounded much worse than I meant. It should be easier on here, as it takes longer to type than talk, but my strong opinions still get me into trouble and I do apologise to anyone whom I have caused any distress.
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I know and Iām aware of I wasnāt always like that.
Iām glad I did.
So did I and sometimes I tend to do so even now, but Iām learning how to hold back my temper even now when they made my department of 9 people remaining just 3 at the end with the same amount of work ā¦ The important thing is constant learning and improoving yourself no mater how old (or young) you are.
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It wasnāt anger with me, just - I called one chap an idiot once. I didnāt mean it literally - he had a PhD, so had to be quite bright, I just meant that, in the situation at the time heād done something a bit silly, but he was absolutely furious and I had terrible trouble undoing the damage!
So Iām never sure if Iāve annoyed someone by mistake and, if I have, it is always by mistake! It must be much harder for you on here because you are never, ever using your first language! 
Yes. Too many times weāre unaware undoing the damage is very hard thing to do and you have to put a lot of extra effort to acheave that.
In a way it was, especially as I never have been to UK before (neither too far from home either) but having a chance to be in Wales for fabulous 2 weeks opened new horizons to me. I wonāt say there arenāt stil hidden ones behind those which opened, but itās a heck of a start ā¦
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I must be really oblivious to things going on lately, since I have no idea what exactly this refers to, but Iāve been admittedly busy recently. I do hope whatever negativity came up gets sorted out though. My first impression of this place was that it was really friendly and welcoming and it would be a damn shame for that to not be the case anymore. I actually used to be afraid to join because I thought everyone would be too advanced to want to talk to me, but I was pleasantly surprised by the calm atmosphere.
Having to ban a person is always unfortunate though. I run a forum (mostly used by kids and young adults) and banning people for being rude always makes me feel like Iām some kind of weird Internet parent putting people in time out for doing stuff they know they shouldnāt be doing. But Iām glad you actively look after the wellbeing of the community @aran
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[quote=āFrankMorys, post:35, topic:6354ā]
Having to ban a person is always unfortunate though. I run a forum (mostly used by kids and young adults) and banning people for being rude always makes me feel like Iām some kind of weird Internet parent putting people in time out for doing stuff they know they shouldnāt be doing.[/quote]
Donāt feel like weird parent when banning. Iām telling you this from my own experiences ā¦ If youāre too kind letting youngsters to do what they want it can turn way against you. I maybe know this the best ā¦
And all here was obviously sorted at the right time not to spread any further I think. I never saw the staff of one forum being so calm, fair and kind as they are here. Thank you all once again.
I donāt think anyone actually got banned did they? Just warned and redacted.
.